The time is at hand. Hope and Change are readying their sweeps across America. Meanwhile, in the hallowed halls of both houses of Congress, public servants are busy at work, eager to leave their mark on history whilst looking out for the best interests of you and I… their constituents.
No one, in this merry band of do-gooders, has his priorities quite as straight than the Maverick himself.
While many of our distinguished gentlemen and women are struggling with how the federal government can best guide America through these, dare I say, turbulent times, Johnny Mac has put “Country First” by proposing the “Professional Boxing Amendments Act of 2009.”
The Professional Boxing Amendments Act would strengthen existing Federal boxing law by improving the basic health and safety standards for professional boxers, establishing a centralized medical registry to be used by local commissions to protect boxers, reducing the arbitrary practices of sanctioning organizations, and enhancing the uniformity and basic standards for professional boxing contracts. Most importantly, this legislation would establish a Federal regulatory entity to oversee professional boxing and set basic uniform standards for certain aspects of the sport.
Sign me up! I can think of no greater pressing need than to allay the worries of Hollywood celebrities, convalescing with the highest paid Vegas whores ringside at the MGM, that there aren’t any shenanigans going on during their high end swat-fest. But wait a second… how will we pay for this “Federal regulatory entity”? Senator “No Earmarks” has it all figured out…
As this measure continues through the legislative process, I fully expect Congress will ensure that funding offsets are provided to it and every other spending measure as we work to restore fiscal discipline to Washington in a bipartisan manner. I urge my colleagues to support this legislation.
Ugh. Yes. This is the man whom I gave my vote to. Excuse me while I go throw up.
H/T Gabe at AoS.