Step 2: Read the often astonishing, always hilarious, post du jour.
Step 3: Clean (spewed coffee / chewed up bagel pieces / snot) off of monitor screen.
Step 4: Shamelessly create post linking his brilliance.
Step 5: Welcome visitors (even those who don’t poke around)
Let’s try it out…
ATTENTION!
This Verbal Diarrhea Alert is so unbelievably surreal, that Obi Wan (aka Iowahawk) doesn’t even find the need to editorialize.
Ladies and Gentlemen… The Esteemed Gentlewoman from the Great State of Florida…. The United States Congresswoman, representing the people of the 3rd Congressional District. The never underestimated, always insightful… Ms. Corrine Brown!!!!”
She is now serving in her 8th session of Congress. EIGHTH!
The time is at hand. Hope and Change are readying their sweeps across America. Meanwhile, in the hallowed halls of both houses of Congress, public servants are busy at work, eager to leave their mark on history whilst looking out for the best interests of you and I… their constituents.
No one, in this merry band of do-gooders, has his priorities quite as straight than the Maverick himself.
While many of our distinguished gentlemen and women are struggling with how the federal government can best guide America through these, dare I say, turbulent times, Johnny Mac has put “Country First” by proposing the “Professional Boxing Amendments Act of 2009.”
The Professional Boxing Amendments Act would strengthen existing Federal boxing law by improving the basic health and safety standards for professional boxers, establishing a centralized medical registry to be used by local commissions to protect boxers, reducing the arbitrary practices of sanctioning organizations, and enhancing the uniformity and basic standards for professional boxing contracts. Most importantly, this legislation would establish a Federal regulatory entity to oversee professional boxing and set basic uniform standards for certain aspects of the sport.
Sign me up! I can think of no greater pressing need than to allay the worries of Hollywood celebrities, convalescing with the highest paid Vegas whores ringside at the MGM, that there aren’t any shenanigans going on during their high end swat-fest. But wait a second… how will we pay for this “Federal regulatory entity”? Senator “No Earmarks” has it all figured out…
As this measure continues through the legislative process, I fully expect Congress will ensure that funding offsets are provided to it and every other spending measure as we work to restore fiscal discipline to Washington in a bipartisan manner. I urge my colleagues to support this legislation.
Ugh. Yes. This is the man whom I gave my vote to. Excuse me while I go throw up.
It has been awhile so I thought the best way to get the blog-o-matic running again would be to dump out a few quick (read – half baked) thoughts:
HRIC (Head RINO in Charge) GWB’s usurping of the failed UAW bailout, Al Franken’s election fixing in MN, Blago’s “appointment” of his buddy Burris (a man who fought to execute a beyond-teh-shadow-of-a-doubt innocent (albeit dirtbaggish) man to appear tough on crime whilst running for governor) and the upcoming Coronation of Sweet Princess Caroline (teh awesomest vid evah here) have all turned the US Senate into the equivalent of a Bugs Bunny Cartoon. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE Bugs… just not sure that “Ballot Box Bunny” is the appropriate template for electing people to what has been up till now a vital branch of our Federal Government.
Government bailouts extending to Newspapers goes way beyond the absurd into the realm of obscene, intolerable and unconstitutional. THIS CANNOT HAPPEN!
I know it sound's crazy, but it works... It's the Jedi Mind Trick...Remember that Eddie Murphy routine? Yeah, Mr. T... Just like that.
by cacoop
As we cite below, The Not-So-Distinguished Governor of the Puppet State of Illinois was hellbent on holding Obama’s barely used, Senate seat hostage in exchange for political and monetary remuneration. More from the Smoking Gun (EXTREME LANGUAGE WARNING):
The politician, according to the affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Daniel Cain, “analogized his situation to that of a sports agentshopping a potential free agent to various teams.” During a wiretapped November 10 call, a frustrated and financially strapped Blagojevich referred to Obama as a “motherfucker” and said that he would not appoint an ally of the President-elect to the Senate vacancy if “I don’t get anything.” Referring to Obama, Blagojevich exclaimed, “Fuck him. For nothing? Fuck him.” In a November 11 conversation, Blagojevich remarked that he knew Obama wanted Valerie Jarrett, a longtime confidante, to succeed him, “but they’renot willing to give me anything except appreciation. Fuck them.”
(RED / BOLD – Ed.)
Who exactly is Blago the Expendable referring to when he says, “they’re not willing to give me anything except appreciation“? And more to the point, how could he infer that “they” were unwilling to play “you-tickle-my-balls-I-tickle yours” with him unless he had some sort of conversation with “them”?
Jake Tapper of ABC News, puts on his journalist hat for this one.
Of course, President Teflon is denying having any conversations with Blago.
Asked what contact he’d had with the governor’s office about his replacement in the Senate, President-elect Obama today said “I had no contact with the governor or his office and so we were not, I was not aware of what was happening.”
But it seems David Axelrod claimed differently back on November 23rd:
(Money shot at 1:18)
So even though the Office of the PEOTUS is conveniently claiming that Axel-Douche misspoke, there is no plausible deniability here. This is not someone who can be dismissed as someone in the neighborhood that Obama sat on a board with. Obama was a Senior Adviser to this psychopath…
If it smells like a rotting pile of dog crap, there is a really good chance that it is Eukanuba, High Fiber formula filtered through the digestive tract of Pit-Bull.
Seems the Guv in Illinois and his Chief-of-Payola, er Staff, have some splainin’ to do.
For those of you who fear that the pay-for-play policies may interfere with the appointment of the Senatorial Successor to Newport’s most prestigious customer, you need not worry… According to the “soon-to be-spending-a-lot-of-time-with-his-back-to-prison-shower-walls” himself, there is nothing to see here; As of Monday, everything was hunky-dory in Springfield:
Regardless of “whether you tape me privately or publicly, I can tell you that whatever I say is always lawful and the things I’m interested in are always lawful,” Blagojevich said. “And if there are any things out there like that, what you’ll hear is a governor who tirelessly and endlessly figures out ways to help average, ordinary working people.”
So, I guess that seeking “appointment as Secretary of Health and Human Services in the new Obama administration, or a lucrative job with a union in exchange for appointing a union-preferred candidate” is one of the lawful things “Ram-Rod” was interested in to help the average, ordinary working people.
Who else has the Illinois political machine given us?
Oh, yeah… well played.
Welcome to the Show, America.
H/T – Friends at Twitter.
<UPDATE> (strong language alert)
By LAMayor
It gets better. Blago stated that if no one met his price, he would just take the damn seat himself! The Smoking Gun has it all . . . .
. . . . Blagojevich was caught on wiretaps noting that the Senate seat “is a fucking valuable thing, you just don’t give it away for nothing.” He was also recorded saying that unless “I get something real good,” he would appoint himself to the vacancy. “I’m going to keep this Senate option for me a real possibility, you know, and therefore I can drive a hard bargain. You hear what I’m saying. And if I don’t get what I want and I’m not satisfied with it, then I’ll just take the Senate seat myself.”
cacoop
James McCutcheon
lamayor
musings from the disloyal opposition... 