The Obama Baby (ka)Boom

Posted: November 22, 2008 by cacoop in Abortion, Dems, Family, Feminism, Media, Obama, Politics

newdonkey

by cacoop

Let’s get it on!

Conventional wisdom tells us that monumental and sometimes cataclysmic events lead to a resultant boom in population.  Apparently, whenever something dramatic takes place in the public square, pants come off and men and women start knocking boots.  I am told that the action takes shape from one of two motives:

  1.  A carnal desire to be intimate – “Oh boy, that was harrowing (wonderful)… let’s do it!” –  followed by the unintended – “You’re what??!?…” <CUE MONOTONE> “We’re sorry, but the number you have reached has been disconnected.” or…
  2. A conscientious decision to institute a life change worthy of the event – “Wow, that could have killed us (is the greatest thing ever to happen to us).  We should affirm the beauty and importance of life by having a little bambino of our own… Let’s go get drunk.”

As fantastic of a picture that either of those two scenarios paint in your mind (unless of course you have visions in your head of yours truly – yech!), it seems that there is no credible evidence of such a phenomenon.   Aside from the well-documented and rationally explained Baby Boom of the post WWII era, where there was direct causation from situational elements (men back from war in Europe, women quitting their factory jobs to start families, revived economy & GI Bill leading to increased financial security, etc., etc.), there has been no evidence of impactful booms in recent history.

A pesky nuisance such as detailed historical research won’t stop the Obamanicacs from believing differently, however.  History be damned! The Obama Baby Boom has been declared in session!  

Hope and euphoria, says University of Washington sociologist Pepper Schwartz, are a serious aphrodisiac. And voters under 30 went for Obama by a margin of 2 to 1. When you combine those two elements—randy people of child-bearing age—the likely result is what the online Urban Dictionary has already dubbed “Obama Babies” : children “conceived after Obama was proclaimed President, by way of celebratory sex.”

So according to Ms. Schwartz, the majority of the under-30 set who voted for Obama fell under motive #1 – “HE WON!  Let’s have casual sex. bow-chicka-wow-wow

However, there were also the door number 2 contingent:

“On election night, my husband had managed to down a bottle and a half of wine in celebration and he was all about making an ‘Obama election baby’,” Abbi Whitaker, 32, of Reno, Nev., told NEWSWEEK.

But wait… Hold the phone, folks… It is no longer down to just the two, previously stated, reasons… True to his billing, President Modification has added a new component to the mix.  Not only is The One capable of lowering the oceans and bringing healing to the planet, it seems he is also gifted in the art of making the barren fertile (I wish I was making this up.)  From the same article…

In Oakland, jewelry designer Meghan Connolly Haupt, who, with her husband, has been trying for a baby for about eight months, says she “was optimistic when I realized election night coincided with my ovulation time.

Finally there is the promiscuity factor…  I think it is fair to say that, on balance, liberals are more likely to embark in casual sexual escapades than conservatives.  In forming this assertion, I surveyed two close friends and one Internet stalker… although not from a lack of trying, all three of them struck out at the last GOPAC meeting (They do have high hopes for the next Heritage Foundation mixer however.)  On the other hand Libs have such forums as Craigslist, which, it turns out, is not just a bastion for the young, urban progressive to dabble in a little free enterprise (hello irony), but it is also a great place for the horny radical on the go to organize their own little community.

So, despite historical evidence to the contrary, there may be a rash of Obama pregnancies.  I mean there are the high hopes of OB-GYN’s, the deals that were brokered on Craigslist exchanging all access passes for all access passes and the few anecdotes that Ms. Schwartz drummed up describing the personal interminglings of emotionally overcome, nubile bohemians.  Frankly, I think it is fair to assume that some peeps got busy on election night.  I think it is further reasonable to surmise that there were babies conceived…

HOWEVER, there is absolutely no reason to believe, with the exception of the few purposeful, plaintive attempts to procreate, that any of the resultant Obama Pregnancies will be carried to term.  After all, the man himself has weighed in on the subject:

kaBOOM!

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